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Myriam Ben Salem

On Relationships

Relationships

What Does Make Us Attracted To Some People Without Controlling It?

Photo by Christopher Beloch on Unsplash

They’re talking our language

For some reason, it feels good when someone finishes our sentence! You have most probably heard about the dramatically increasing number of people admitting to feeling so lonely.

We can relate to their story

We are no different! We all have the following common gifts:

  • Our power of choice,

  • The “Principles” Center (conscience),

  • The 4 bits of intelligence: PQ (Physical), IQ (Intellectual), EQ (Emotional), and SQ (Spiritual).

The life-time conditioning numbed our common gifts. Consequently, we built numerous limiting beliefs about ourselves and the world. Those beliefs were so ingrained over time that we have been taking them for the absolute truth.

This lead to the creation of some shields in a desperate trial to decrease our suffering from never feeling good enough. There is a correlation between the hostility of our environment. and the level of our imbalance. The first six years of our life set the tone.

When we meet some people who have been dealing with similar struggles and who made it gives us hope that maybe one day it will be our turn.

What they say resonates with our core principles even when we are not yet living by them

That’s why servant leaders can inspire instead of manipulating. We admire them walking their talk! We are impressed by their decent behavior because, deep inside, we already have this “Principles” center, but that we are unable to execute from it when still operating on auto-pilot and being blindly guided by our distorted center(s)!

Their authenticity and how easily they can speak their truth even when everybody is buying into lies

We live in a world where wearing so many different masks depending on the context is the way to go. Our worth is a function of others’ perceptions and how much we align with the stereotype. Thus, we admire those heretics who have challenged and broken all the rules to set the pure initial creature free!

It has run in my family for 10 generations. Well, this is where it runs out!

Their vulnerability and ability to expose themselves emotionally despite the risk to be ridiculed

The reason why we admire them for this particular virtue is that we are craving it deep inside. It takes great character strength and internal security to do so. The reason behind it is that, unlike the ego need for protection, those people value is bravery!

Their kindness and generosity

We cannot prevent ourselves from adoring generous people who have no agenda behind their kindness. We can sense when it’s genuine. And, even when the person is so brilliant in the manipulation art and that we are still developing our intuition, we will sense the duplicity sooner or later!

Their humility

One of the most appreciated and captivating virtues of all! Humility is coming from a place of self-love! People presenting themselves as the masters of the world, the greatest, the most brilliant, the one and only, the king/queen, etc. are in general suffering from insecurity and are very ego-driven.

Pay attention to those red flags! We may approach these kinds of people for their social status and apparent power. We might have them as our supervisors of whom we are afraid. We might even find ourselves compelled to be diplomatic with them, but guess what? We will never love them!

Observe the real leaders humanity has known so far. They all share this virtue! No matter how genius, exquisite, knowledgeable, inspiring, change-makers they are, they will always present themselves as continuous learners and will feel uncomfortable talking about their strengths!

Being faithful to their principles no matter the price to pay

Sometimes, life can get tough. In some situations, we would need to choose between compromising with our discovered calling and mission — in other words, playing the manipulation game and accepting projects we don’t believe in, or staying faithful to our principles even when this would mean struggling financially!

We tend to admire the latter choice! 😊

Their integrity, abundance mentality, and maturity

Those three virtues are the principled character’s main traits.

Integrity is similar to honesty but goes beyond it. While honesty means conforming our words to reality, integrity means conforming reality to our words. It is painful to walk the talk of integrity. We will give up on many people during the process!

The abundance mentality means we believe there is plenty out there for everybody; thus, there is no need for competing and winning the race. Our worth is intrinsic and independent of our accomplishments.

Emotional maturity is the balance between empathy and bravery. We are compassionate enough to listen actively and seek first to understand the person, but we can also be courageous enough to confront when required.

We can only look up to these kinds of people!

How they treat everybody fairly and respectfully

Nothing is more frustrating than being unfairly treated! I get so pissed off every time of watching some historical movies describing the cruel and mediocre slavery era! Violating human dignity is one of the ugliest behaviors!

Nowadays, the forms are probably different and less explicit, but what are you calling what’s happening in the workplace in terms of treating people like things, disrespecting their time, and other engagements because their tasks are “the number 1 priority” according to their boss.

Needless to mention an unfair pay, not making use of their creativity, not being treated kindly, and not being able to contribute to the world in any principled way?

I am always shocked by seeing some job offers saying so clearly you need to take into consideration you will have to work during the weekends when required — turning to be most of the time afterward. What are you calling this if not slavery?

That is to say that we tend to feel attracted to those treating everybody with the same set of principles!

Their contagious energy and the level of their connection with their inner kid

Unless we are a dark soul, no one can resist a person with a gorgeous and big smile, who is having the highest vibrations level, and who is acting like a 5-year-old child! It’s just out of our control to smile and feel an instant joy when interacting with such individuals, even if we still didn’t learn how to free ourselves!

How much they can make you laugh

What is more impressive is that they can do so without offending or downgrading any person/community in the process. It is called self-deprecating, and it’s the healthiest kind of humor. When doing so, those people are nurturing our inner kid. If you try to pay attention to the eyes, you will see innocent ones! Isn’t that magic? 😊

Their passion

The sparkling eyes, the excitement, the enthusiasm, how moved they could become when visualizing the outcomes of their life mission, and the vibes those people are vehiculating even through written words are the fruits of their passion! 💙

Their limitless gratitude

To the Universe, Divinity, God, Karma (whatever you believe in) for pretty much anything, even the fact of being able to breathe without machines!

How easy and quick their apologies are whenever they figure out they made a mistake

Their apologies come quickly thanks to their character strength and stable internal security. Why is it unwavering in the first place? Because it correlated to the principles center. The principles are, by definition, unchangeable and independent of time and space!




 

What Does Make Us Attracted To Some People Without Controlling It? Reviewed by Myriam Ben Salem on December 29, 2020 Rating: 5

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