I Got Depressed The First Time I Visited Stockholm

Photo by Ian on Unsplash

There’s no such thing as bad weather, just soft people. ~ Bill Bowerman

No matter how harsh this statement could be, I needed to admit it to myself at some point in my life. I used to be one of those folks whose well-being exclusively depended on the external world: circumstances, popularity, acceptance, recognition, weather — you name it!

I was working in a multinational corporate organization. I was based in Tunis, and our team was one of the extensions of the Swedish company bought by the corporate. Thus, visits between the two offices were frequent. The following happened during my first 1-month-stay.

It was in November. According to weatherspark.com:

The month of November in Stockholm experiences essentially constant cloud cover, with the percentage of time that the sky is overcast or mostly cloudy remaining about 73% throughout the month. The highest chance of overcast or mostly cloudy conditions is 75% on November 26.

Born in a Mediterranean small country in North Africa where sunny is the keyword, and despite having already visited a few European countries at the time, I was yet to witness such cold and cloudly weather in Autumn. It was dark all the time, and the sunshine was disappearing at 3 or 4 PM. I could hardly believe my eyes!

Luckily for me, some of my lovely Swedish colleagues were good friends of mine! During the first week, I was invited every day to have dinner. I discovered such a unique and fascinating style I’ve never seen before in any other culture:

The dinner was not ready and served as I was expecting it to be. Instead, the preparation happened step by step, and guests were involved in the process. The most heartfelt discussions took place in the kitchen while working together on preparing the dish. That was mind-blowing!

Even for those who couldn’t cook, they introduced me to their favorite restaurant, and we even shared our meals! You need to understand an important detail here: in Sweden, it is anything but common to be granted the possibility to taste your companion’s dish.

We were four people. One of them visited Tunisia several times and was aware of how frequently we do it. He offered me to take some of his food, which I did without hesitating, and I naturally gave him some of mine. The three other colleagues were shocked, and it was clear on their facial expressions!

When he noticed my confusion, and before I could ask about it, he explained to me — while smiling — the root cause of their reaction. That’s when everybody started laughing despite the instant embarrassment. The shared moment was enchanting!

During the first weekend, I even learned how to skate for the first time in my life — or shall I say I did my best to be very honest! I will probably not be able to tell the story better than the photos below:

From the author’s album: The enthusiastic grown kid getting ready for the challenge!

From the author’s personal album: Seconds before the fall!

From the author’s personal album: The Fall!

From the author’s personal album: The first baby steps!

From the author’s personal album: I surrounder!

P.S. The guy in the pictures is my very favorite Swedish friend! I already mentioned him before here. 

The second week was less eventful, and the third one even less. I had the privilege to discover the gorgeous city in the company of the same friend most of the time. Still, the decreasing frequency of my time outside was enough to let the cold and cloudy weather impact my wellness!

I was feeling depressed starting from the second part of the third week. It was becoming harder and harder to wake up in the morning and get ready for a new working day. The only detail which saved the situation was the workaholism of the former perfectionist me!

In the middle of the fourth and last week, and regardless of all my will power to do my job, my body was not responding anymore. I was not able to take my head off my pillow. Every time I was trying it, I was having terrible vertigos. I took the day off.

During the last day of my stay, I was not even able to enjoy the small Friday party they call “Fika”. All that I could think about was to go back home. I had enough of that weather!

I recalled this episode yesterday while I was in my Body Combat class. Unusually, my vitality level was down. I know that I am consuming tons of energy daily and that I can go off balance from time to time whenever I don’t get enough rest.

But yesterday was different. There was a curious conflict between the warrior — unleashed naturally during this class — who is continuously challenging the most difficult pieces of training and making so much noise notwithstanding the fatigue on one side, and my body responsiveness on the other one.

After reflecting on what might be the explanation, given my rhythm was pretty much the same in the last couple of months, I found out the problem! I spent most of my time lately indoors. It has been a while since my latest walk-in mother nature. My body was missing some essential Vitamin D, as simple as that! 

Takeaway

The former fragile perfectionist me got depressed because of the “bad” weather. I am leaving it to you to imagine how she would have felt as a result of the global pandemic and its correlated setbacks.

Here is how the new post-transformation me is behaving in those times of global crisis.

What am I trying to say? Very explicitly for once: That’s how much re-writing your subconscious program could be transforming whenever you commit to paying the price! I am not a superwoman or an alien! If I was able to make it, then it’s also valid for anyone of you!

Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine. ~ Anthony J. D’Angelo

As usual, thank you so much for deciding to stop by and invest some of your precious time in reading this story!