An Open Letter to My Volunteering Program Host: I Am Not Sorry You Couldn’t Exploit Me As You Thought You Would

 

I kept asking myself this question over and over again: why the heck is this host accepting volunteers at all? It is winter where he is and the position was stipulating growing crops, which he does during summer, as well as painting and decorating his property, which is not needed anymore.

Eventually, it all made perfect sense. My host has been very subtly inappropriate from the very first day. I reached his place on Saturday evening. On Sunday morning, he told me he dreamed of me.

I was, supposedly, showing him my scars from my furry kid. He was pointing to the end of the back before adding, “no-no, I don’t wanna see!” while laughing creepily.

I turned my back to him without saying a word while thinking he was probably nervous; hence, awkward. Little did I know that he was intentional in anything he said or did and that this would be anything but an innocent incident.

I was sensing his pride when admitting that he had numerous sexual adventures with the volunteers. I was confused, given that he was openly harassing me without the slightest discomfort.

He once said that one of them offered him a special erotic massage. And when he asked the volunteer to educate him on the technique, she said, “Come on, the guy just wanted to f*ck me as I wanted to exploit you!”.

The worst part was that he thought he was funny. His laughter was evil.

His storytelling is about ‘Tinder’ and shallow relationships mostly. Interestingly, I was keeping a poker face; in other words, disabling him on purpose.

That’s one of the techniques that proved itself effective when dealing with toxic humor.

 

Furthermore, he shared that he built his house without any paper — which can easily be proved. I have the exact position. It means that he is exploiting the country that welcomed him, as well.

When I asked whether he could get into trouble, should the authorities discover it, his answer was, “I can say I am a stranger and didn’t know that I needed to? Would you help me regulate the situation?”

Appealingly, he has been living in Brazil for 11 years and has multiple businesses. I am sure his answer was a manipulation technique and that bribing would be his way of dealing with it.

When he was abusive from time to time, I stood for myself firmly while never getting reactive as he wished to feed on my emotions. The most shocking episode was concerning Mimi.

He has two dogs. They are sweethearts. They welcomed me with hugs and kisses and were the best thing about the program. Still, they are a german shepherd breed, and my baby is a cat.

Additionally, the host confessed they can play dangerously with his cat and advised me to watch my kid.

He was meditating while Mimi somehow went outside. His son was calling one of the dogs loudly and warning me she was chasing my baby. My heart almost stopped during the rescue mission.

When she was safely inside again, I was feeling confused. The guy didn’t even bother stopping his meditation and helping calm his dog. I witnessed his irritated facial expression, which was intriguing.

As if it was not weird enough, he dared say after a few minutes, “Look, what happened wasn’t okay. When people meditate, we ought to respect it. Now, because of having interrupted my session, I feel too bad.”

My eyebrows almost touched my hair, “my baby was in danger. Is your meditation more important than her life? Which other choice did I have?”

Him: you could have locked her in the room.

Ultimately, he realized that I would not buy into his agenda and that his plan turned out to be a failure. Consequently, he desperately tried to get to me through my furry kid.

If you've come this far, maybe you might enjoy my upcoming free eBook about the whole tale! I'll be honored if you decide to stop by!